... we had no cell phones!
....we didn't have Call Waiting!
....we didn't have Cable!
....we didn't have remotes!
and so it goes..
But today's event takes the cake...
When I was your age, it took THREE hours to get my braces put on!
Wait what? Why am I discussing braces with my 8 but very almost 9 year old?
Ohhh right. Because she got braces today.
Today. With no ahead planning (other than the appointment that I ridiculously assumed was for a brief checkup, and perhaps the one in which we'd book the epic three hour metal-to-teeth-application event).
Sillly,Silly Old Mommy. See, getting braces in these modern times takes 30 minutes. Three-OH. Less than an hour.
How about a quick tour for you friends suffering in the dark ages? Perhaps when it is time for your lovely Mini's to get their braces, you can be completely up-to-date and the Cool Mom.
<< --- In this step, our awesome Dr. T drops a bit of glue to the tooth, places the shape.. and then.. wait for it.. his assistant holds that little orange pen light - look close - it is in her hand - above that bracket and tooth for about 15seconds and BOOM! Glue and bracket dry.
Would you like me to review the 1980's version of this? Of COURSE you would! Sit in chair. Poufy haired assistant comes to sit next to you surrounded by an array of medieval looking torture devices. Your mouth is wrenched open - and held that way for several hours - while brackets are cemented on. I'm fairly certain it was the same cement used in driveways and sidewalks. You sit that way for a while longer to make sure everything dried. And it was pretty standard to also have cement in your nose, hair, and probably chin. Maybe an eyebrow.
<<--- This precious little rainbow is the little bands that go around each bracket. I actually have no idea if we had these in my time. A good deal of orthodontic appointment memories are buried deep in those dark places in one's mind. Eileen got to pick two colors to accent her stars and hearts and diamonds. I think we went with blue and pink.
There was no tightening of braces today. I can't WAIT to see how that goes down though. The memories in my head are of 12inch wires sticking out of my mouth - while said mouth was propped open - it was as if Freddy Kruger himself was emerging from my mouth. And there was twisting, pliers, cutting, pressing.. and this was probably before Latex gloves were standard. WHOA.
In fact - I even trolled Google Images trying to find an image that showcases just what I mean about these life-threatening wires. It isn't there. It is THAT bad that Google has opted not to share such torturous images with the general population.
Eileen doesn't believe me that this process existed!
<< --- Here is the finished product. Only five teeth so far. It took all of thirty minutes. Had it been her whole mouth (eventually it will be), we may have had to be there a whopping 45minutes.
OH and just for fun - who wants to know about impressions? We did those in late spring.
With. A. Laser.
It took ten seconds. WHAT?
Where are the days of icky tasting metal trays with the cement in your mouth for at least 15minutes?! No choking? No crying? No spitting?
Clearly my generation suffered all suffering of Orthodontia. Our pain is their gain.
So, next time you have to walk nine miles in the snow and your kids are whining, just regale them with the tales of those afternoon's with cement stuck to all parts above the shoulders...
**and if you are super curious.. just ask me about the Brace Bus. You know you want to.
