...and so it goes...

A few days ago, I posted a blog about Janet, my mom. 

It was written from the heart. And it was written, too, because at times I find I am better able to express myself in writing than with speaking.

(I daresay anyone who knows me well can't FATHOM that I would ever have a hard time talking. ever. to anyone. about anything.)

I wrote it for me, to make sure I'd always remember some of her.  I wrote it for her, so that I could be certain she knew just how much I loved her and how much she meant to me, and yes, to let her know that despite all my years of teenage moodiness, I really did listen and all those lessons did actually take hold.

And I guess there's a part of me too that wrote it for family and friends.
That post took off like I would never ever have imagined. It was shared and reposted and read over and over - not because of me and some riveting style of writing I'd presented (though that doesn't sound awful), but because of her. 

That post about my mom took off all around the Cyber World because of how incredibly amazing my mom was. Because of just how many friends she'd made, people she'd impacted, examples and lessons she'd taught, and of course, her famous trait, by how many stray people she'd adopted. 

I write in the past tense about her, you see, because she passed away early this morning. She passed away in her sleep, while Shannon, John and I were at her side.  It was early morning, the sun not quite up. We hugged her and kissed her, made her cozy in her bed, and then the three of us had morning coffee. As she would have wanted. 

And then we began to share the news. Emails, phone calls, texts, instant messages, facebook posts, and so on. 

And over the course of the day, we have been (and continue to be) inundated with calls, emails, texts, messages, and so on - from all of those people that she touched. 

I have had notes that have brought tears to my eyes - from people I don't even know. I don't know them, but they know me, because of her.  People want to share in our grief, to help ease our pain, and do whatever they can to keep her spirit alive. 

I am overwhelmed -  but this is a good problem to have.  To get to be the daughter of someone loved by so very many is an honor. 

If you knew her, pray that her kind of spirit, generosity and love continues to flourish in this ever-insane world. If you knew her, pay it forward. And if you knew her, and you've reached out to us, and haven't heard back.. know that we have gotten your messages, and will try our best to respond.

Without a doubt in my mind, she is up there with other Angels living it up. Making a kickass redsauce to be followed up with a damn good cheesecake. 

WWJD

A few years ago (oh hell, who am I kidding, it was probably more years ago than I want to admit,...) there was a trend: people wore bracelets, shirts, stickers, etc emblazoned with WWJD.  It stood for What Would Jesus Do?

That's not what this post is about. This one is about Janet. What would Janet do?

Janet is Mom, Momma, Nana, Big Sister, Auntie, Wife, Friend, Social Director, and when said by a teenage daughter in *just* the right tone, MUTH-er!!!

She's the one who lost her own mom when she was just 18. She's the one who left the only place she'd ever known and came to the foreign land of Tennessee with two girls under the age of 4, yet somehow managed to practically run the neighborhood within six months. She's the one who fascinated an entire town with one syllable - say it with me - pahk.

She's the one who taught her girls to be strong and independent (she would later regret that at times, as perhaps her daughters were a tad TOO independent, especially that Little One). She's the one who made sure her daughters knew and appreciated their Faith, yet allowed them be their own selves and to question it at times.  She's the one that instilled an incredible love for reading in her girls (probably because those girls were not allowed tv's in their bedrooms).

She's the one who makes the best spaghetti sauce and clam chowdah on the planet, and who made sure her girls knew how to do just the same.  She's the one who put herself through college when her girls were still in middle school. She's the one who would not let her teenage smartass daughter have her own way, proceeded to write a letter to the editor of the Memphis paper, and from there become every parent's hero and every teenager's nightmare (said now many years later with incredible understanding). 

She's the one who made watching The Wizard of Oz and Sound of Music every year an event.  She's the one who took her girls to Mud Island on a regular basis, and to go walk around the Cobblestones on the Mississippi. She's the one who took her girls on picnics at the Penal Farm and to feed the ducks at the Hungry Fisherman (and if you are reading this and you grew up in the 80s in Memphis, you're loving it). 

She's the one who showed up at her daughter's house the day before her granddaughter was to be born, bringing instant relief to that terrified daughter. She's the one that has doted on that granddaughter - but somehow managed to not spoil her. She's the one who made sure that granddaughter knew all sorts of silly stories about her mom and aunt. She's the one who fascinates that granddaughter with pahking the cahr.  (She's also the reason that said granddaughter will NOT have a tv in her room either...)

She's the one who is the definition of Foster Parent.  Not to kids, not in the traditional sense. She's the one that comes to town and makes instant friends, and adopts those who need more than a friend. Men, Women, Young, Old, Red, White, Brown and Yellow. She doesn't care. She's the one that will make sure you are well fed and never alone.  She's the one that made sure as hell her daughters do the very same in their own adult lives. 

She's the one, that above all else, has taught endless lessons, just by being herself.  She has taught self-confidence. Independence. Humility. Acceptance. What really matters in life - and to be clear - it is NOT Louis Vuitton purses and stress in Corporate America.  She has taught forgiveness. Letting things roll off of one's back. 


She's the one that has made sure there are endless happy memories for so very many people. 

She's Janet. She is my mom. She is Eileen's Nana. If I'm lucky, Janet sees this before she leaves this Earth. If I'm lucky, I will someday be half the person she is. 

If you're reading this, you should know this post doesn't even scratch the surface of all that is Janet.  It is just a peek into the life of an incredible woman, who has touched an incredible amount of people, most of all her family. 

I'm not sure if Janet will make it (in the traditional sense) to her next birthday; I can say with 99.9% certainty she won't make it to Easter, Mothers Day or to Eileen's First Communion. I can, however, say with 100% certainty that her incredible spirit and presence will be here with us for all of those events, and every other event that is to come. 

I can't yet wrap my head around what the next days, weeks and years will bring. I will, however, make it my mission to honor her memory in every way person. 

And the best way to do that, as far as I can tell, is to constantly ask myself: WWJD?

What Would Janet Do?

Monday Monday. And Captions. Why not?

<--- very vague memories of this. it is sausage ball mix. pretty sure Bill took this to text to Sarah to gross her out. Merry Merry!

<--- bad doggie breath? Bill (poorly) attempting to hide how very much he adores little Gretta?

<--- why are they hiding from me? they looove selfies. STOP HIDING.

<--- does anyone really need a caption here? there's a mess of spilled product on the floor. and it appears on Erin's blog.  
(everyone knows my nickname is Grace)

<--- how many college graduates does it take to figure out how to pose for a selfie and make their hands say "four oh?"

<-- what Sissy doesn't know is that she's smiling her best smile.. but really all those paparazzi have their cameras aimed at that turkey. 

<--- is that a stuffed poodle on a stand? new trend in home decorating?

<--- oh! it's not a poodle. it's a white peacock!

<-- why is everyone looking to the left... and Eileen to the right? clearly she's picked up her mother's excellent sense of direction. 

<--- Santa's coming! Santa's Coming! and my husband has a giant bow on his head!  Bill wins the Most Festive award.

<--- BOOYAH!  

Is there any better shot of a kid totally being stoked for Christmas? I don't have a son, but if I did, he would be Finn. 

 ...these next three photos are some sort of phenomenon that I have captured on camera. 

<---here is the first sign of Riley's incredible SuperHuman Speed.. she is faster than a frame!

<-- Riley's BFF, also known as our daughter, clearly not amused by the SuperHumanSpeed.

<-- BUT WAIT! There she is! and now, mysteriously, Eileen and Edie have picked up the SuperHumanSpeed

<-- Gracie is completely and utterly over this post. 

<-- yeah, so Mom? I'm smiling because that's what I have been brainwashed to do. But really, there's no way in &*!# that this sweater will fit me. 

<-- Dad Superheroes. 

<-- this kid can rock a purple towel like no one can imagine

<-- this was taken in July. We just wanted to mess with everyone. 

<-- QUICK! how many people do you see?

<--- Bill and Chad. Sharing clothes? Picking up one another's mannerisms? Or did someone fart? 

<-- this was taken a split second after a boy (EWWW BOYS) pushed Riley and irritated her. note Eileen's glare. Someone will PAY. 

<-- watchout b*tches. we gangsta. 

Is it Summer Yet?

Christmas - Check. 
New Years Day - Check. 
Staying up late, sleeping in, existing in gym clothes (currently, trendily called Casual Athletic Wear) - Check. 

So now I'm ready to be done with the cold and dreary weather and move into poolside mode.  Who can help me out with that? 

I just finished going through 400+ photos from the past few weeks. Some of them, tho only two weeks ago, seem as if they were months ago. HOW does that happen? And there are some hilarious ones. I see a blog post in the near future with just photos and giggly captions.  Yes? 

I had a salad this afternoon. I'm waiting to see if I need to go to the ER, worried about the shock of clean foods to my system... 

Bill and I just got back from three days in the mountains with friends. Three days of football, eating, drinking, wii bowling, and more football. I can't imagine a more fun way to wrap up the Christmas Break. Three days with no responsibilities other than making sure you had filled out your squares on the football boards (and for the record, I won a total of four quarters over four games.. not too shabby!).  

The weekend in the cabin came just after having spent Christmas Eve with another set of great friends. Games and kids and chaos and an amazing dinner.  Gifts and laughs and cookies and general good times. I can't have imagined a more perfect way to spend the best night of the year. 

Shortly after Christmas one of my best friends called - really actually called! - to tell me they're expecting.  That's a pretty fantastic gift too.  For them of course. But for me too, as it warmed my heart to know they made a point to call me to tell me. In today's world of texting and social media, that call just struck me as a pretty big deal. 

And of course, as always, there is constant contact with my Wolfpack (a term I'm stealing from one of said Wolfpack). Some of my closest friends on the planet. Those ladies (I use that term loosely!) I've known since childhood.  Without those girls I'm pretty sure I'd be a lost loon wandering around aimlessly. Well, I guess sometimes I do that anyway... but still. 

I'm rambling I guess.  It's been one of those periods of time where I realize how very lucky I am to have the network of friends that I do.  

We spent a lot of time with family over the holidays as well - and of course those too were special times. We have an amazing family that has grown exponentially and gives new meaning to the term "extended family."  

But those friends that become family, they're just a special breed and I'm so glad to have them. 

So now, of course, it is the NEW YEAR. Twenty-freakin-fifteen. I'm sorry, what?!

 I don't know that I have resolutions per se... but definitely some things rolling around in my head that I'd like to accomplish. One of which (while minor), is to keep up the blogging. 

Pretty sure I say that every year.. we'll see if this big bad year of FORTY is the year I get it together.  

Stay tuned for those photos and captions.. 

Happy New Year!