our crazy little world. read on if you dare. i promise you'll giggle.

We Three

We Three

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Football!!!!!!!!


I seriously love football. I mean, I could watch it all day long. College, Pro, High School, Pee Wee... I just love it.  Which works out very well when one lives in a Football town.

Check out the cheerleader. You'd think the cheer outfits would be growing on trees here in Knoxvegas. Eileen and I were on THE HUNT Wednesday afternoon for one (yeah yeah yeah, if i were some sort of uber organized Mom, I'd have had her Vol Cheer Outfit ordered by July 1). So at Target, when we came up dry after walkig the whole store 2x, baffled, I said to Eileen: Well Monkey.. they have boys UT stuff.. UT stuff for Daddys, and UT stuff for Mommys. For some reason they don't have any UT stuff for little girls. 

her response?
AWWWW F*CK IT!

Oh MAH GAWD. Conflicted between shock and amusement I asked what she'd said, if only to confirm to myself I wasn't insane. She knew it was wrong, and after a brief discussion on NOT using that word, we moved on. And I, of course, stifled my giggles and promptly posted on facebook.  (editor's note: she did NOT get this phrase from me, bill, josh or sarah.. and i doubt it's the last time she'll hear/utter/learn a four letter word or who knows what else... such is life with a kid!).


K, I know this picture is sideways. I can't make it go the right way. So just turn your dang head to get the idea. So anyway- back to the cheer outfit hunt... Bill had lunch with a friend on Thursday.. which happened to be a the mall.. therefore he was tasked with hunting down an outfit. And didn't he do a great job?! Eileen loved it.  And of course wore it to school on Friday.


As much as we love to go to games, it gets pricey, hot and exhausting. And for this Opening Day game.. wow, so very glad we'd opted to watch with friends at a bar... it may have been one of the best choices ever. We arrived at said bar about one hour before kickoff.  It was roughly 127 degrees and crazy sunny.  Dottie and Croft got there and we discussed how glad we were to be in the conditioning and not melting down at Neyland. We proceeded to indulge in chili cheese fries and buckets of Coors Light. The bar peeps switched the big screen to the game. And there was a billboard up saying "Rain Delay."  K, stilllll sunny and hot as crap out.  Massively confused.  And of course in our modern age, everyone in the bar can be seen whipping out their smart phones to get a look at the radar. And indeed. Massive storms just south of us.  ARGH.  So we proceeded to watch the rain delay at NotreDame and random other games.  It then started to rain like mad.  So we ate and drank. Almost two hours after scheduled kickoff, the game began. YAYAYAYAYAY.

And then, the people watching began.
Now I have lived in several places.  And there are people in every place that you just look at and wonder - on WHAT planet does this person reside?

  • there was The Picker.  This man - who appeared normal - asked if he could sit at our table for a bit. Well sure, we're all friends here in Rocky Top nation. He keeps to himself while we four holler and scream at the big screen. And then. He's digging in his ear. DIGGING. looks at his finger. Sips his beer. and picks his schnoz.  All my will power not to hurl. GROSS. NASTY. Get out of our personal space you creepy man in orange!
  • Annie Leibovitz.  K, there's this table of roughly 12 people.  Men, Women, young and old.  Which was slightly baffling, as this particular establishment allows smoking. And, as far as I know, this state maintains that if a place chooses to allow smoking, all patrons - no matter what time of day- MUST BE OVER 21. The several short people at this table are clearly not 21.  Well. apparently this was some sort of family reunion. One of the women - dressed in a large hat - she was afraid she'd get rained on inside? - had a DSLR camera with her, not unlike my own. And she opted to capture every other nanosecond of this little event. Constant flashing from the camera. For at least three hours. I'm surprised no one suffered a stroke. 
  • That Shirt and Those Shorts Fit You 25LBS Ago Group-  ok.  now I admit... I have more lbs on me than I did 2 years ago when I ran my last marathon.  BUT, I don't wear those clothes that fit me two years ago.  WHY do people insist on wearing clothes that clearly don't fit? OR - you ladies with larger bosoms (of which i know nothing) - must you REALLY rub them on our heads when walking behind our table? could you NOT have opted to walk 3 extra feet to where the actual aisle is?
  • Mullets. Male and Female. Here's a hint: the year is 2011, quickly approaching 2012.  GET A HAIRCUT.
  • Crutches/Slings/FootBoots... there seemed to be an abnormally large amount of people there with one body part or another in a cast or brace or some sort of binding. Has there been a rash of Klutz's that have moved to town? and as Head Klutz, it should be noted I was NOT one of said people all wrapped up.
  • The Clubbers. OH MERCY.  So - this bar we're in- when it gets into the late hours -- as in 10pm and after (oh now I'm old.  there was a time in this girls life when 10pm was still to early to be seen out and about...)- this bar becomes a bit of a club scene. Well, since our game started almost two hours late- it was still not even 4th quarter when the Clubbers started arriving.  No doubt they were confused by the still present Sea of Orange, the mullets, slings and Pickers.  They're all milling about in clothes the likes of which I know I never wore, and the likes of which I think must be purchased at one of those Adult Video stores.  And these are the moments when I decide Eileen will be put into her bubble until she's 33.

All that being said, we had a blast. I'm so excited for Football Season to have started. I love the game, and I love the comraderie that comes with it.  I know, it's just a game. But it can be a distraction, something to be passionate about with several hundred thousand other peeps. 

So, here's to a fun season- win or lose - it's still fun!

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