The Ones You Never Forget...

(editor’s note: I wrote this piece weeks ago, with the intent of publishing it today…)


Today, I’m writing about teachers. 


I’m writing about teachers because Eileen graduates Pre-K in a in an hour or so. And in her almost six years she has been blessed with some absolutely amazing teachers. So this is for them, and it is also for MY teachers- and I am not sure I truly appreciated all they did for me until now- now that I have a child and can see so plainly what these Heroes have brought to our lives.  

Growing up, my mom told me that I would like certain teachers, and not like others. She also said there would be those I would never ever forget.  And of course, she was right. 


Second Grade = Mrs. Peterson- my first year at St. Ann Bartlett. I vividly remember wanting to wear my uniform to Mass on Sunday that summer before school started (thank GOD my mother didn’t let me).  That was also the year my parents separated. And I am fairly certain Mrs. Peterson was one of the first to know, so that she could look out for me or let my parents know if I acted out or whatever else. I don’t remember loads of stuff from being that young, but I do remember that she didn’t let me slide, or get away with things, or give me any special attention. And yet, somehow in the middle of all of that change in my life, she managed to make me feel safe and normal and OK. I kept in touch with her for a long time, and still hear bits and pieces of what she’s up to these days from other friends or from her sons. And I always smile ear to ear when I think of her. 

Fourth Grade= Ms. Davis – she was FASCINTING. She was married and ‘older’ but didn’t have kids. I was roughly nine/ten years old at the time -  I have NO IDEA how old she was - she was probably only 40!!  She was the only ‘old’ person I knew who didn’t have kids (not counting Sister Connie and Sister Marie). Her nails were always bright red, and her hair was big and blond and styled and gorgeous makeup. I swear that woman never ever wore the same outfit twice. She was like this cool city woman working with ten year olds in Bartlett. I don’t remember which subjects she taught us, I just remember the Big Persona and how fun she seemed. 

Junior High… it consisted of one hallway with four classrooms shared between all the 7th and 8th graders. We were the ‘cool kids’ because we were the oldest, oh- and we changed classes when the bell rang.  And we had lockers that we shared - only we couldn’t go to them between classes. One morning we walked into 7th Grade Home Room and had a substitute teacher – it may or may not have been Mrs. Croxdale, I can’t remember those very first days. There was another sub, and another, most of the time, it was Mrs. Croxdale.  Mrs. Self never came back. She had lung cancer, and that May, it was Mrs. Croxdale who told us one morning before a school Mass that Mrs. Self had passed away. Losing a teacher at age 13 is overwhelming. We never got to say bye. We sent cards and letters. Some went to see her in the hospital. We all went to the funeral, in our uniforms.


Let me tell you about Mrs. Croxdale. As many amazing teachers as I had, it was and is her who will forever be my most remembered teacher. She has three sons, the oldest is one Shannon’s age.  And, SHE IS SASSY. (and if she’s reading this she’s laughing her arse off at me). And, well, you all KNOW I am Sassy. I was a TOTAL brat to Mrs. Croxdale when she started subbing for Mrs. Self.  I don’t know why. I remember she’d talk to the class and I’d mouth off. Or whisper. Or whatever else a 13 year old girl is prone to do. And then one day she called me on it. We were in line in the hallway, probably lined up to go to the cafeteria. I don’t know what she said to the class, but I mouthed off. And she walked right up to me and got in my face. And said, very calmly, but in a tone that I will never forget, something along the lines of you better watch yourself young lady, because you may THINK you can out-sass me, but you are very very wrong. And if you keep this up, you will find yourself in a very unpleasant place and living a very unpleasant existance.   I remember all the kids in line just going silent. I mean CRICKETS. And then she straightened herself up, and marched back to the front of our line. 

And from that day on, she just became The Coolest Teacher Ever. She taught us Tennessee and American History and Social Studies Probably other stuff too. She started the Student Council at St. Ann (not that a group of 7th and 8th graders have all that much power – but it was still fun.  I was Vice President).  I babysat her kids. When I graduated 8th grade, she gave me a brooch/locket that I’m pretty sure I still have. She was my teacher, but became my friend too. I can’t really put a finger on it, why she was such a force in my life. But I can certainly say I am glad for it, consider myself lucky to have been one of her students. For years I made her cookies every year for her birthday. She came to me and Josh’s wedding. She was just that teacher. I like to think my Expert Sass Mouth is a credit to all her hard work. 


Certainly there were others. There was Coach Daleke – our grade school gym teacher, also my softball coach. She took me to and from virtually every practice and game we ever had- mainly because Mom was a fu;ll time student and had a job - so rides were tough to get! There was Miss Guth in High School. The English teacher, without whom I would never have read Great Expectations (to this day my favorite book). It was also Miss Guth who passed on her pet peeve of ending sentences with a preposition. And she was Yearbook Moderator – I was ultimately the co-editor of the yearbook because it was such fun. There was Senora Hopper, who taught me Spanish for four years. She was also my Senior Home Room teacher, and I distinctly remember she and I having full on conversations totally in Spanish. During Homeroom. Which tended to drive the girls who took French up the wall because they had no idea what we were saying. Oh AND she took us to Mexico. What sane woman takes twenty 16 & 17 year old girls to three cities in Mexico? That was Senora Hopper. There was Mrs. Wilkins, an absolute caricature of herself, who somehow made Trig fun. There was Mr. Savage, who taught us Latin, and on the very first day of our Freshman year, he laid on the desk and pretended to be Roman Royalty being fed grapes. I can’t even make that up. There was Mrs. Davis, who taught us Religion and History and Drama. And maybe Chorus? The woman LIVED for her European History Class. I think if she could have had it her way, we would have spent our entire high school careers studying the Dark Ages and Renaissance. But her love of that period was contagious and to this day I still like it. 

So today, as Eileen gets ready to graduate, I think of the teachers she’s had. Miss Margaret and Miss NaeNae, who made it OK for me to leave my baby girl with them every morning. I didn’t doubt for a minute they took as good a care of her as I ever could. There is Miss Denae. She was Eileen’s teacher and babysitter for a couple of years. Eileen adores her. Drawings still hang on my kitchen door that Eileen and Miss Denae did together. Miss Tina- who for some unknown reason Eileen did NOT like at first- and soon enough it was Eileen pitching a fit when she had to leave Miss Tina’s class. Miss Kelley was Eileen’s teacher when Josh and I separated; Miss Kelley’s girls had been the same age as Eileen when SHE and her husband had separated. Miss Kelley took as much care of me as she did Eileen. She knew what to expect and had words and advice for how to make it OK. It was Miss Kelley who texted me “we need brownies!” when Eileen FINALLY FINALLY decided to use the potty at age FOUR. There is Miss Amber and Miss Megan and Mr. Gio and Mr. Sean and Miss Rachel. There is Miss Janet and Miss Tara who run the school, and know every child by name.


And. There is Miss Carrie. I don’t know where to begin with doing Miss Carrie justice. I’m not sure my words can make it clear to you what a powerful woman she is.  I would be willing to bet that Miss Carrie will be for Eileen what Mrs. Croxdale became for me. Miss Carrie is a Saint, she is a Force. I have never seen someone so amazing with Children. She is firm and stern. She runs her classroom like a drill sergeant. There are rules and when she speaks, the kids LISTEN. She speaks to the children like adults, and expects – and gets - good behavior and respect. And. The kids love her. 


See, we got lucky. A variety of circumstances led to Eileen having Miss Carrie as a teacher from September 2010 until now… almost a full two years with Miss Carrie.  She has taught Eileen to read and write. My little Mini is starting Kindergarten already knowing addition and subtraction.  She has taught Eileen how to be brave and be a big girl and make smart choices. She’s also taught Eileen how to have fun and be silly. I can’t tell you how many times I have walked into that classroom to find the music blaring and Miss Carrie smack in the middle of a pack of kids dancing her heart out, while somehow tricking them into cleaning up the classroom. How can you not just grin when reading that? Imagine seeing that on a daily basis, and loving this woman who so loves your kid? 

Miss Carrie schooled us too. In Pre-K1, Eileen had homework. Easy worksheets, three a week, with due dates. Most people would react with WHY DOES A 4 YEAR OLD HAVE HOMEWORK? My answer – DUH people. It is not for the child. It’s for the parent. To get US ready for ‘real school.’ To get US ready for homework assignments and helping our children and not turning it in late. In Miss Carrie’s class, if it was late, no one got in trouble. But in ‘real school’ if homework is late, it won’t be the same. 


Miss Carrie is that teacher who makes learning fun. Miss Carrie is that teacher who loves every minute of what she does, and probably remembers just about every student she’s ever had. Miss Carrie is one with whom I very much hope I am able to stay in touch with for years and years to come. And I hope that Eileen will be able to do the same. 


I am sure Eileen will have many other teachers in her life who she’ll remember as I have remembered so many of mine. I’m not sure any of the teachers in her future will have the impact and influence that those from MStar have had, but then again none of her future teachers will have been with her from 15weeks old to almost six years old. Those are some pretty major years. I’m not sure how many of her MStar teachers Eileen will remember. But I will, and I’ll make sure she reads this post in years to come. 
Eileen graduates tonight. 

All I have left to say to Miss Carrie, to Mrs. Croxdale, and all of the other teachers mentioned here, is 
THANK YOU.