Back and Forth...

Back and forth... that's where my head has been. With regards to the Knox Half Marathon. sigh.  It is this Sunday, April 7.

I have run it every year since the Inaugural in 2005 - with the exception of 2006 & 2007 - when i was pregnant and when i had a 6month old and was too damn tired to train!

I planned to do it this year. It's like a habit. It would have been my tenth half. I was super excited.

But before I knew it, the calendar said early March. January & February kicked my butt at work. By the time the weekends came around, I was exhausted and could not muster up much motivation. Plus it was cold. And it stayed cold. Which does not make for inviting training runs. 

And there's the age factor. I don't yet get the Senior Citizen Discount, but I am also not exactly 25years old anymore... 

I kept telling myself I'd suck it up and do it. After 11+ years of running regularly, and after running seven Knox Halfs - I certainly know the route and what to expect. 

<-- There's also the Eileen Factor (those are her running shoes..).  She is fascinated at my running. She wants to do it. She loves to see me get a medal, and then wear it. She loves to get her OWN medal.  I don't want to tell her I won't be running this year because I don't want her to be disappointed. Or to think it's OK to quit. 

I don't quit. Well, it is rare that I quit, especially when it comes to running. 

It is because of my 11+ years of running that I know better. It is because I know the route, that I know better. 

I know I can dig in and do the miles. But what I know better is that the probability of hurting myself is over the top. And that with each nagging injury I've had over the years... the recovery time gets longer and longer.  

And, well. The longer I am sidelined from running.. ergh.. not fun. 

It is maddening to me to miss it. It is maddening to me to not get Number Ten under my belt. It is maddening to me that I didn't train. It is maddening to me that for the first time in years, it looks like the weather will ROCK.

It is maddening to me that I am making the 'mature' choice to opt out. And hopefully, it is maddening enough to me that I will put my head back on straight. Go back to basics with my running. Build back up the miles and find some fall races to tackle.

And good grief, hopefully some warm sunny weather in which to run.